I can't make you love me
by stagepageandscreen
Summary: Freed from the constraints of decorum I hungrily observe your beauty, treacherously wishing for a mere heartbeat that you might love me the way that I love you. I know it can never be, that you do not love me at all, but in the quiet hours such as these, I like to imagine that the love I feel for you is reciprocated. Rated for mild suggestive themes and a mention of violence.


**A little suggestive in places, but mostly just romantic angst and a brief look into a less romantic version of Loki. A mention of violence. You have been warned. **

* * *

**I can't make you love me...**

You collapse against my sweat-sheened back with a hot desperate groan, every muscle, every tendon snapped tight in the instinctive moment of your release. The growls of your desire push me into my own heady rush of pleasure; my helpless mewls are muted in the down-stuffed pillows of your bed.

You pull away from me before I am completely sated – not that you care – and with a careless twist of your fingers the restraints that bind me to the headboard dissolve into nothing more than gleaming streaks of light as you call the bonds back into the ether.

Your chest still heaving you stretch out on top of the rumpled coverlets, no words of affection or kindness for me falling from your passion swollen lips…but I did not expect any. Not once in all the nights that you, the second prince of Asgard, have taken me into your bed have you ever spoken such endearments to me.

Unsure as to your mood in this particular evening, I make a small motion of departure, wincing only a little as my sore thighs make contact with the embroidery of the bedspread.

"Where do you think you are going?" You have not even opened your eyes, those stunning emerald eyes that make me catch my breath whenever I behold them, but the absolute command in your tone has me sheepishly wriggling back to my place.

"I was unsure if you wished for my presence this night, my lord," I murmur quietly.

"I may be interested in a repeat performance," you mumble, the black tendrils of your hair strewn carelessly across your forehead and onto the pillow. How my fingers itch to stroke them into order! But I know how you revile such familiarity, despite the fact that you know every intimate secret of my body. "Stay," you command, the slight slur of the word foreshadowing how close you are to sleep.

I am glad to comply, inching as close as I dare while you are still semi-conscious, content to watch the low firelight from the fireplace play over your pale skin and caress the smooth planes of your muscles.

As your breathing evens out and you are lost to your slumber my eyes fill with involuntary tears. Freed from the constraints of decorum I hungrily observe your beauty, treacherously wishing for a mere heartbeat that you might love me the way that I love you. I know it can never be, that you do not love me at all, but in the quiet hours such as these, with your still, elegant form asleep beside me, I like to imagine that we are of an equal standing, not a slave girl and a prince, and that the soul-shattering love I feel for you is reciprocated.

I lay there a long time, fighting off my own slumber simply for the pleasure of watching you. I know that when tomorrow comes, the first golden beams of dawn creeping between the loosely closed curtains, I must leave, return to my proper station and my real life. To the sly glances and cruel jibes of the other slaves, to the back-breaking work that fills my hours, to seeing your cold impersonal gaze slide across me as you pass in the company of your brother and his friends…to feeling so utterly alone.

You shift slightly in your sleep and I pause for a moment in my thoughts, wondering whether tonight would be filled with your fathomless whimpers of terror, caused by your fears of shadows that I cannot banish, no matter how hard I try. There have been several nights when, ordered imperiously to remain in your company, I have wound up brushing my trembling fingers through your hair and cradling you to my chest in a vain attempt to soothe you. Once you woke during these ministrations, your response being to push me from you and backhand me across the face, shaking with rage and echoes of fear. I slept on the floor that night, the salt of my tears soothing the warm mark left by your hand.

On this night, however, you do not lose yourself to your fears and your breathing relaxes once more. Finally resigned to sleep I move towards the edge of the bed, keeping as far away from you as I can, knowing that you hate to have your space infringed upon. The warm clasp of your fingers around my wrist surprises me and I turn back, expecting you to have reached out thoughtlessly in your sleep.

Emerald eyes stare back at me, filled for a moment with a softness I had never seen present before. We stare in silence at one another for what feels like eons, my submissive nature for once retreating as I hold your gaze steadily. Equals.

I may have imagined it, but at my pathetic display of bravery your mouth quirks up in a dancing shadow of a smile, instantly replaced with the mask of haughty boredom that I am so accustomed to seeing there.

"If you don't desist from wriggling around, I shall be force to restrain you again," you warn, tugging on my arm to pull me closer.

I cannot hide my surprise, but comply unthinkingly. I will not complain at the prospect of getting to actually sleep in your arms tonight.

The coolness of your skin surprises me, as it always does, but the comforting weight of your arm draped over my middle makes up for the slight chill. In a few languid movements you have pulled the bedclothes up over us both and have settled your head back into the pillow, your nose nuzzling ever so slightly into my hair.

I know you do not love me, and that you probably never will, but just for now I will take this little piece of perfection that you have so unwittingly handed to me. This is the moment I shall remember when I feel unwanted and alone, or when I battle to banish the helpless love I feel for you. Whether you are aware of it or not, in this moment you have given me the world.

With a small sigh of utter contentment, I allow myself to sink into the oblivion of sleep, my fingers just touching yours.

* * *

**I hope you enjoyed, and please review!**

**Libz**


End file.
